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+--- Thread: Football Jokes (/Thread-Football-Jokes)
Football Jokes - Noucamp99 - 16-09-2009
Keep them clean guys! Add your footie related jokes here. Give us all a laugh!
Not like this one!
DARREN FLETCHER’s house was, apparently, robbed by the same Liverpool-based gang that targeted a number of footballers recently. A spokesman said: “Well, its the only way you’ll ever see a Premier League winners medal in Merseyside.”
RE: Jokes - Noucamp99 - 17-09-2009
Not trying to stir up any anti bluenose feelings, but here are a few more I found. Google is indeed our friend!!
How many city fans does it take to change a light bulb? None- Their all happy living in United's shadow
A new Man City Oxo cube is about to be introduced. It'll be called "laughing stock".
Man City are apparently under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion; they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 34 years.
A man goes into a pub with an alligator under his arm.
"Do you serve Man City fans here?" he asks.
"Certainly Sir, no problem at all," replies the barman, nervously staring at the alligator.
"Okay," says the man, "a pint of lager for me and a City fan for the alligator."
What do Man City Fans and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
RE: Jokes - andrewcmufc - 14-10-2009
a man was driving through liverpool when he got a flat tyre, he pulled over to change it and when he was removing the flat a young scouse lad in a hoodie jumped in the drivers seat, the man jumped up and shouted "OI OI WHAT THE F**K DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING" to which the lad replied " if your having the wheels, im having the stereo"
just so noucamp dosent feel lonely
RE: Jokes - Noucamp99 - 14-10-2009
Just tidying!!
Courtesy of Red3636:
Ugly Scenes in Manchester City Centre last night.........
Tevez and Lescott went out for a drink together.:guinesssm
Tidying. Again!
Courtesy of 2minutesturkish
what do you call scouse triplets?
come head, go head and smack head.
RE: Football Jokes - andrewcmufc - 19-10-2009
I'm guessing "99 Red Balloons" isn't on any Liverpool fan's playlist at the moment..jim - I think you'll find it is as one of the fuckers has my iPod.
I hope FIFA 10 developers EA Sports give us an option to download the red Liverpool beach ball.
RE: Football Jokes - Noucamp99 - 17-11-2009
Sir Alex Ferguson is walking down the touchline when a woman sticks out her arm, so he promptly signs it. A little further along the touchline, a woman pulls up her top , so he signs her tits. A naked woman then jumps out of the tunnel, lays on the ground and spreads her legs in front of him.
Fergie says: "Sorry love, it's Benitez who signs all the Twats"