22-12-2009, 03:43 PM
Mind you, after a quick search on the 'net, I can match those cracker jokes with the 10 worst ever, according to the telegraph!
Top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes
1. What's purple and yells help?
A damson in distress
2. What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia
3. What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!
4. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
5. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
6. What's the fastest thing in the water?
A motor pike
7. Why didn't the skeleton go to the New Year's Eve party?
He had no body to go with.
8. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!
9. I've just bought a dog with no nose.
How does he smell?
Awful!
10. What's the most popular Christmas wine?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'
Mind you, the top 10 BEST are not much better:
The Top 10 were
1. Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"
Santa: "I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!"
Doctor: "I've got just the cream for that!"
2. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize
3. What goes oh, oh, oh?
Santa walking backwards
4. What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
5. What did Adam yell on the day before Christmas?
'It's Christmas, Eve!'
6. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
Lost
7. What kind of room has no windows or doors?
A mushroom
8. What do you call a man with brown paper trousers?
Russell
9. How did the human cannonball lose his job?
He got fired
10. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they're flying?
Because they would quack up
Don't blame me! Source: telegraph.co.uk
Top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes
1. What's purple and yells help?
A damson in distress
2. What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia
3. What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!
4. How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
5. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
6. What's the fastest thing in the water?
A motor pike
7. Why didn't the skeleton go to the New Year's Eve party?
He had no body to go with.
8. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!
9. I've just bought a dog with no nose.
How does he smell?
Awful!
10. What's the most popular Christmas wine?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'
Mind you, the top 10 BEST are not much better:
The Top 10 were
1. Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"
Santa: "I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!"
Doctor: "I've got just the cream for that!"
2. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize
3. What goes oh, oh, oh?
Santa walking backwards
4. What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
5. What did Adam yell on the day before Christmas?
'It's Christmas, Eve!'
6. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
Lost
7. What kind of room has no windows or doors?
A mushroom
8. What do you call a man with brown paper trousers?
Russell
9. How did the human cannonball lose his job?
He got fired
10. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they're flying?
Because they would quack up
Don't blame me! Source: telegraph.co.uk