Carlos Tevez has spoken out after his brace against his fomer club, West Ham, that he will now celebrate if he scores against Manchester United.

The man who hit the woodwork in the last Manchester derby had this to say -

I’ve decided not to celebrate my goals out of respect to West Ham, They were my first club in England and, in my heart, part of me will always be a Hammer. The professional part of me was really pleased with my first City goals at home but, personally, I would have preferred to beat another club. In the derby against United I had also decided not to celebrate our goals but, after the bad treatment I received from the supporters that day, I have changed my stance on that. If I score in the next derby then I am sure that I will celebrate.

source: skysports.com

a man was driving through liverpool when he got a flat tyre, he pulled over to change it and when he was removing the flat a young scouse lad in a hoodie jumped in the drivers seat, the man jumped up and shouted "OI OI WHAT THE F**K DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING" to which the lad replied " if your having the wheels, im having the stereo"

( I know this isint in the joke thread but i cant find it, must have been deleted)

According to manutdarabic.com , Owen is injured ...

when we could see Owen paly all the match as Rooney? they should give him a chance not just last 10 minutes , ok , sometimes he makes goals and chances in this 10 minutes , what about all the match.

A Spaniard who describes himself as a professional warlock claims to have been hired to cast a spell on the former Manchester United footballer Cristiano Ronaldo.

Jose “Pepe” Ruz, 58, from Malaga, has written to Florentino Pérez, the president of Real Madrid — the club that paid £80 million for the Portugal international — to warn him that the hopes of millions of fans are about to be dashed. “I have been contracted so Cristiano Ronaldo suffers a serious injury. I can’t promise when that will be, but I can say he will be injured for more time than he plays,” he wrote.

Speculation has abounded in Spain over who might have taken out a black-magic contract on the star. Was it Sir Alex Ferguson, his former manager at Manchester United? Or Joan Laporta, president of Real Madrid’s rivals, Barcelona? Neither is a known practitioner of the dark arts — so is it one of the hapless defenders who will have to face Ronaldo in the coming season? Mr Ruz refused to name his client, other than to say that he or she was “famous and knows the player”.

Mr Ruz claims to have practised witchcraft for 22 years; a calling for which he says he is well paid. This time, however, he will have his warlock work cut out: the Portuguese winger has already scored seven goals in five games for his new club.

Real Madrid dismissed the threat. “It is a nonsense, like many things we have to deal with regularly,” a spokesman said.

Lets rack your brains and take a trip back into history...


How many red cards did Roy Keane recieve in his Manchester United career, and who did he get them against? (No cheating!)